I looked out the window into Main between 6th and 5th, where years ago, we used to wait to see Herb round the corner, limp and a cane, before I went off in the car, those were the days of fighting off the urge.
To self-destruct, I would learn later. And then, once that is over, you move on. Like a slithering, slothful moth in the night, if you can figure it out in time.
Looking down the street, I am glad to go out there today, largely because of medicinal marijuana and I think of how opiates and cocoa as the pain-killing self-medication of choice, throughout the ages, uppers and downers, back and forth, pendulum swing, here we go.
How that one infusion of substance into my brain, it is quite truly an attitude adjustments, clinically insane parallel universes, like having to live your life at work, televised, this sixth degree of separation from yourself, that close-knit family of every film set, only to be disregarded after a few months, from 2 to 5 depending on genre. The longest shoot I ever did let’s think about this was a feature, ever day, lost the call sheets, but from july 1 or so through end of October was it or I seem to recall the 18th or so at least, so let’s say 4 months then a month in the new year when times were good, on the descent of the wave into a city that chews you up, I knew it had that potential, that’s why I came here.
The City of Bukowski and the state of Miller, who retired in Big Sur, the only two writers I’d admired at the time who weren’t really dead, they told of places that were timeless, the human condition, cultural adventure, is there a place for me here, don’t want to get too comfortable…the old metaphors of the old ways.
The reason I could even relate in the first place was because I could get easily lost in a fictional world, then you start to realize how much like going down the rabbit hole life really is.
I don’t want to read self-help books to solve my life, in fact, drunk with my breakfast returning from Margarita’s where a woman put down a dime and said ‘patty melt,’ the illegal immigrant ignored her so there was some shame coming on, and, as I had started to say, the reason I can even walk among such dangers and poor people addicted to drugs, is because, I have this perspective lately of how my life my existence at time has been apocalyptical in its own right, and most of it revolves around money, so I thought, of course, of how I could turn that in to a tv show because I really want to develop some shows like a think tank for cool network, how do I create that job, up in northern California to write and think, or back east, I just need some diversity in this career path.
For right now, not travelling, except quite regionally, the shortest bus ride I have ever known and then back to times not so long ago where, yet again, bent over and fucked, basically, by a company. I mean, okay, when is it going to end? The big guys to the little schmucks, both the same, chew you up and spit you out to try.
But I can be better prepared next time as we are living quite the apocalypse of our minds in the current moment. With our currency running out and the fear of nothing, not being able to buy ‘what you want, when you want…’ You have to go there, you have to figure it out, you have to understand. The law today, okay, I probably don’t have a bad ending coming my way, I don’t feel sick as justification for not seeing a doctor for a long time, but I realized that I am going to have a hard life, along the way, because even if it stopped now and flipped over, it would still have been harder than most people I seem to know, through work, where I live my life, but nowhere near as hard as other people I know through my loved ones’ stories, the dignity that comes with love, and abiding by principles. Observe the principle. It is my belief that a poet would actually do pretty well at surviving, it is a way of thinking, like the kahunas chanting.
To self-destruct, I would learn later. And then, once that is over, you move on. Like a slithering, slothful moth in the night, if you can figure it out in time.
Looking down the street, I am glad to go out there today, largely because of medicinal marijuana and I think of how opiates and cocoa as the pain-killing self-medication of choice, throughout the ages, uppers and downers, back and forth, pendulum swing, here we go.
How that one infusion of substance into my brain, it is quite truly an attitude adjustments, clinically insane parallel universes, like having to live your life at work, televised, this sixth degree of separation from yourself, that close-knit family of every film set, only to be disregarded after a few months, from 2 to 5 depending on genre. The longest shoot I ever did let’s think about this was a feature, ever day, lost the call sheets, but from july 1 or so through end of October was it or I seem to recall the 18th or so at least, so let’s say 4 months then a month in the new year when times were good, on the descent of the wave into a city that chews you up, I knew it had that potential, that’s why I came here.
The City of Bukowski and the state of Miller, who retired in Big Sur, the only two writers I’d admired at the time who weren’t really dead, they told of places that were timeless, the human condition, cultural adventure, is there a place for me here, don’t want to get too comfortable…the old metaphors of the old ways.
The reason I could even relate in the first place was because I could get easily lost in a fictional world, then you start to realize how much like going down the rabbit hole life really is.
I don’t want to read self-help books to solve my life, in fact, drunk with my breakfast returning from Margarita’s where a woman put down a dime and said ‘patty melt,’ the illegal immigrant ignored her so there was some shame coming on, and, as I had started to say, the reason I can even walk among such dangers and poor people addicted to drugs, is because, I have this perspective lately of how my life my existence at time has been apocalyptical in its own right, and most of it revolves around money, so I thought, of course, of how I could turn that in to a tv show because I really want to develop some shows like a think tank for cool network, how do I create that job, up in northern California to write and think, or back east, I just need some diversity in this career path.
For right now, not travelling, except quite regionally, the shortest bus ride I have ever known and then back to times not so long ago where, yet again, bent over and fucked, basically, by a company. I mean, okay, when is it going to end? The big guys to the little schmucks, both the same, chew you up and spit you out to try.
But I can be better prepared next time as we are living quite the apocalypse of our minds in the current moment. With our currency running out and the fear of nothing, not being able to buy ‘what you want, when you want…’ You have to go there, you have to figure it out, you have to understand. The law today, okay, I probably don’t have a bad ending coming my way, I don’t feel sick as justification for not seeing a doctor for a long time, but I realized that I am going to have a hard life, along the way, because even if it stopped now and flipped over, it would still have been harder than most people I seem to know, through work, where I live my life, but nowhere near as hard as other people I know through my loved ones’ stories, the dignity that comes with love, and abiding by principles. Observe the principle. It is my belief that a poet would actually do pretty well at surviving, it is a way of thinking, like the kahunas chanting.
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