Imagine this as your 'home' in the ruins, waiting for water, waiting for a place to lay down and sleep, waiting for MREs, dropped from military planes, relief workers descending upon your once-was neighborhood and not being able to manage the chaos, so you sift through the rubble, take what you can to survive -- this is your life right now, in shock, a walking shell of the person you once were, wondering why? And getting no answers.
Take the time to walk a mile in someone else's moccasins as my dad used to remind me because you don't know what you'd do til you've been there. Give thanks for what you have today, if you can, and send whatever you can, even well wishes, good thoughts, a pledge to give when you are able to (having been laid off with no income ourselves, we just feel guilty) and think of what we can do to help rebuild such a troubled land, the relief goes first, then recovery and then rebuilding.
Put yourself in that moment, imagine how much we could do to make it better, for once, instead of throwing up our hands and saying, what can I do? It's bigger than both of us.
Re-imagining the future is what I am asking us to do. And now I must face the drudgery of a job that won't go away, has no satisfaction in and of itself, and I'm actually losing money doing it-- but I am re-imagining a future where I am a purposeful force that can do something with these experiences I have had and make the world a better place, even if only a little bit, for my having been here for this short time.
I was born to no one and have no idea where my bloodlines lead. That makes me feel less than human sometimes, a ship lost at sea, a shell of a person with empty insides waiting to be filled -- not even with the dream of some sort of good news (like my birth parents are actually cool or interesting) -- no, it's most definitely the feeling of abandonment and rejection you can't shake. It's been too long for curiosity not to even get the best of them.
And things like this, these natural disasters where so many people's lives are lost and their families destroyed, I think, why not me? I have no ties, am this anonymous being with no geneology to carry forth -- why am I still hanging on when my whole birth was an accident?
That's what I wait to hear, somehow, an answer to the question -- what is all this suffering for if not some higher purpose?
But it just keeps going on and I am losing my faith that there must be a reason, an answer, a purpose, it could just be random and meaningless after all.
So, if I could, I would, in a second, change places with you, in that rubble, and I keep wondering why I am spared, when there is so little to my life these days as it stands now, and these families had generations to share their lifeline, a family tree. If I could trade, I would, gladly, at least today.
Take the time to walk a mile in someone else's moccasins as my dad used to remind me because you don't know what you'd do til you've been there. Give thanks for what you have today, if you can, and send whatever you can, even well wishes, good thoughts, a pledge to give when you are able to (having been laid off with no income ourselves, we just feel guilty) and think of what we can do to help rebuild such a troubled land, the relief goes first, then recovery and then rebuilding.
Put yourself in that moment, imagine how much we could do to make it better, for once, instead of throwing up our hands and saying, what can I do? It's bigger than both of us.
Re-imagining the future is what I am asking us to do. And now I must face the drudgery of a job that won't go away, has no satisfaction in and of itself, and I'm actually losing money doing it-- but I am re-imagining a future where I am a purposeful force that can do something with these experiences I have had and make the world a better place, even if only a little bit, for my having been here for this short time.
I was born to no one and have no idea where my bloodlines lead. That makes me feel less than human sometimes, a ship lost at sea, a shell of a person with empty insides waiting to be filled -- not even with the dream of some sort of good news (like my birth parents are actually cool or interesting) -- no, it's most definitely the feeling of abandonment and rejection you can't shake. It's been too long for curiosity not to even get the best of them.
And things like this, these natural disasters where so many people's lives are lost and their families destroyed, I think, why not me? I have no ties, am this anonymous being with no geneology to carry forth -- why am I still hanging on when my whole birth was an accident?
That's what I wait to hear, somehow, an answer to the question -- what is all this suffering for if not some higher purpose?
But it just keeps going on and I am losing my faith that there must be a reason, an answer, a purpose, it could just be random and meaningless after all.
So, if I could, I would, in a second, change places with you, in that rubble, and I keep wondering why I am spared, when there is so little to my life these days as it stands now, and these families had generations to share their lifeline, a family tree. If I could trade, I would, gladly, at least today.
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