The Grief of a Nation

No one needs to say a word yet everyone is talking. Respect for fellow living beings is so hard for us, some of us, others not as much, yet we all think we are right and want to tell everyone else that, somewhere, into the void of the matrix, the voice of the vortex.

There were always horros. You just didn't see them on you tube and on your sacred facebook "news" feed (which Jen is tired this week from kid # 2, which chick is complaining about netflix or starbucks, which person died, who got left behind, but certainly not someone dying live in front of your eyes.

The first horror I stumbled across was you tube during the Pulse massacre - or around that time because it horrified me that someone had the presence of mind to shoot that and put it on you tube as people were crouched in bathroom stalls trying not to breathe until the psychopathic gunman declaring allegiance to whoever is most violent and repressed leaves.

Or the witness at the gas station as police officers clearly apply force 2 v 1 on a man who is already on the ground, then you hear a gun shot, barely see the move of the hand to the gun before you see the blood red running across the pavement and the two police officers scrambling to get up. That's bad enough but to hear they pulled all the surveillance video and then this 'anon" witness happened to be shooting video on a smart phone at the time - it's happening now with such regular timing that people are getting numb to it or using it for reasons other than the collective good, for real, honestly, not some false sound bite, believe me I've heard all kinds, as a producer who had to keep track of what everyone said and create a story out of it. This is blunt force trauma and everyone is reeling.

Try to be kind to each other. The only way we can ever create this world that it would seem most people do want -- one where they can live a reasonably happy live with family and friends around and not be a jerk off asshole unless being a jerk off asshole is honorable in their tribal council religion or something - but in general these heinous acts are being committed by a vast array of sickness coursing through our society's veins, which we all blame on someone else, until we're there where no one wants to be, then you just get used to it, institutionalized, rationalized.

There are guns for almost every man, woman and child in America, ;land of the free, home fo the brave, but I don't have a gun (even though I grew up around them because it was rural and my father hunted) and a lot of people I know don't have a gun and a lot more people don't have a gun, so some people have way too many guns and the fact that you can buy one online at all astounds me. You can't buy drugs to kill yourself but you can buy guns to kill others. Thanks government, good looking out.

if I'd known what idiots were running things, I would have gone into politics when I was asked to instead of pursing my creative choice. In retrospect, it was not worth it. I ended up in an industry that is so egregiously sexist and unfair, blatantly abuse and gets away with illegal practices all the time -- film and television, that is, mostly in the later, the darker side of things, the genre called 'reality' albeit I only did quality good shows so of course they kept firing me -- once because a fire woman, who was racist, and said everyone was making meth in their houses as we drove by -- showing what they really think of all of us -- if the paramedics are called, you're a drug addict or dumb to them. This is a culture of mutual contempt. This is what we learned from Vietnam and all the things that have followed.

We can't see outside ourselves to fix this as it goes. We have to stay together in collective sensibility and keep our shit together not go off on rants about the injustice of the obvious.
And how the fuck could you not know your classified emails should not be sent from a private server? How the fuck can you say one minute that an entire race, religious  or cultural group should be 'banned' (for the color of their skin, religion or ethnicity), then turn around and say we need better race relations? Because you honestly don't understand the rules the rest of us play by, that's how you even get to run for president these days.

Nothing works is different from everything's broken. Don't steal people's actual grief with your self-serving posts about what a tragedy this is. You didn't seem that upset when children were beheaded because of our history, or entire species wiped out for our hamburgers.-no, because it wasn't in your face. Well welcome to what's become of the human race, grieve if you lost someone, get a grip and lend a hand if otherwise. I can't take the sanctimonious moaning about society and wanting to give up. Then give up, go. I have work to do on earth.

Anyone who lost someone or  this happened in their hometown, my sincere hope that you can find peace somehow and mourn respectfully, sans media circus and social media
narcissistic spotlight addict.

Those folks need your support and help not your outrage, unless your outrage prevents anyone from being shot tomorrow, which is unlikely. So think about where to put your energy to push back against the dark of evil, I speak in code because it is insidious, all around you.

Be positive. Stay focused. Prepare.